Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Syukur? Apa tu

Comes the time of my life when i am thankful for having a life but not thankful for everything else that is happening in it. First and foremost maafkan aku ya Allah. Tak tahu kenapa benda ni masih berlegar legar dalam otak walaupun dah istighfar. I wish to convey a message which is quite blurry to me but i still hope you will get it. Hope i can reach to people who are having the same  maybe-it's-depression state like I am right now. I'm in my class, hoping not to break down. I need support. 


  • I cant have fun like other people do. Lagha. Lalai. Why?
  • X boleh lepak ngan my kawan laki yang tengah menangis merana kena friendzone and they have nobody to talk to. But i cant bro sbb kena jaga ikhtilat. Why?
  • I cant have a boyfriend. Why?
  • I have to be okay with being ugly. Why?
  • When I am having a breakdown and a girl just wont freaking understand. I cant talk to a guy. ikhtilat, ikhtilat. Why?
  • Kena tinggalkan all my brothers. Why?
  • Tak cukup nak bawak ke akhirat sekadar ibadat sorang sorang. Kena bawak semua orang masuk syurga sekali. I get it but susahnya! Why? 
  • Ramainya orang yang buat benda-benda last minute kat Malaysia ni. Aku pun. Why?
  • Boleh ke doa "Ya Allah, kalau sekiranya seandainya tercukup amalan untuk dibawa ke akhirat. Boleh tolong matikan anis nadhirah hussien ya Allah. Sesungguhnya aku tak sanggup". Ni tak mati-mati lagi ni, hmm sentiasa bergelumang dosa memanglah.
Hah, ambik kau. Sape lagi yang rasa macam ni? Tolonglah. Please hold yourself back and do not resort to stupid things. I'm still convinced that Allah will help us all, tapi these questions. One day will be answered. Never lose hope. If you are feeling like what I am feeling now. remember, ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH ALLAH. Istighfar kejap sayang. I pun tengah sakit ni. Takpe, ujian kot. Mungkin. Astargfirullahalazim.

2 comments:

  1. After a hurricane comes a rainbow

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    Replies
    1. thanks :') whoever you are. may God bless you

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