Friday, 1 January 2016

Dear 15 year old me [raw and unedited]

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ,
wrote this on my 8-hours flight to melbourne. but first of all it's a messed up writing because i used my S Pen on my samsung phone and sometimes they don't turn out all nice and error-free. also, there are grammatical errors because I was crying and thinking, basically just letting everything out. which I think is the beauty of this. enjoy the rawness. 100% unedited first draft. tapi INTEC jadi CNTEC xleh tolong la sbb konon nak raw and unedited kan ._.
***

letter to 15 year-old me ,
you 'll have it all . you' ll get most of what you Want . you' ll study overseas . you' ll get like legit 10A's in spm . you'll have a great time in CNTEC . you' ll meet amazing people . you' ll break your bestfriend's heart, and you' ll move on cuz you're a bitch. You' ll meet an amazing guy Who also happens to be your team captain.you'll be lucky enough to have the person you like, like you back. you' ll have a great time in Queensland. you' ll be studying the best course ever. as if it's designed for you. you 'll be amazed at how amazing he makes you feel. that you don't care abt your body until you got too fat. you' ll be happy and you' ll be sad. you' ll discover you're an empath. An imagine the joy when you discover that Your love is one too.

But when you asked for all these from God, you never once thought that your heart will shatter to pieces when your momand dad smiled while sending you at the gates . But then text You hours later, that moma can't even look into your room. because she 's never missed you that much. you've never thought how painful it is to leave Your nephews and niece while to beg to follow you inside the departure area. you've never thought of how sad it is, not to be able to hold your new niece. And knowing that she's all grown up When you see her. you' ll never imagined, how crazy it is to go through LDR. But you've also never thought of how comfortable yourrelationship is. you talk abt anythingand everything.
You' ll realize, that love is a powerful thing. you never thought you could love your family that much . you never thought you could love a man that Much, considering how you've always thrived on doing everything alone and on your own. you would never have even thought that a man could love you so much it feels great and you feel alive. your heart will throb and ache thinking of your parents. But it 'll also flourish and beat of joy .





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