Sunday, 12 February 2017

Sleeping my way through highschool

Hello readers, 


You can't believe what I found in my cabinet earlier today. I had this can/tin of Fox sweets in form 5 when I was studying in MRSM PC. It was always on my table, and I asked people to put letters in them, or anything really. Sometimes they take some of my sweets. That was okay, I encouraged them. I wasn't a good person. Still am not really a good person. I was (read: am) feisty, very vocal, vengeful, fat and unashamed. Giving away these sweets was an attempt to do something good. To change I suppose. Didn't really remember if this nice and kind thing suits me. I also found tickets and cards from my days in INTEC. It became my treasure can. 

I was not tailored for school. But I loved learning. University is for me. Its wonders and freedom was my drug. I was addicted to what it could offer. So many things to explore. How did I survive school? I slept my way through highschool. I'm sorry to the teachers I have disappointed for sleeping in class. I made it up to you with okay grades, I hope that was alright. I wake up everyday with a new determination to actually be a good student. Being a child of two educators myself, I know how important it was to have a good class etiquette in order to ease the teachers. They're tired of disobedient and disrespectful students I know. But one blink and I just fell asleep. It's not something I could fight. I fought it, but I guess I wasn't fighting hard enough. 

Always eager to get out of class to debate, lead, organize, talk, be on stage and express myself. That was me. A few months before SPM Ninny, Husaini and I were debating and helping Madam Z prepping our trip to Bangkok for a scholars competition. There was a group of boys who shamelessly mocked me and a friend of mine for speaking english around the compound. I publicly threatened to drown them with spicy tomyam soup. Few days later one of them came to apologize. 

I made it a point to erase some things about high school. But today I just decided I want to embrace and live with them. After all highschool gave me Madam Z, Madam Lin, Ninny, Dina, Nadh, Hanis. People who shaped and changed me. Always being the one who wants to be outside of class, I've never truly bonded with my classmates. That was a curse that I have lived with since I was in Tengku Mahmud. Always friends with the ones far outside due to the excessive extra-curricular activities I was involved in, never truly appreciated the ones who were in close proximity. It's dangerous. Well I like to live dangerously, but always with a price to pay. 

Maybe it's time for me to start to look closer again eh?





2 comments:

  1. How did I survive school? I slept my way through highschool.
    key ni lucu. hahaha

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  2. It's good to be that active during highschool since you're still in shaping stage but yeah, thats a dangerous way to live with a price to pay. For some times I thought it's okay for that someone who is truly gor me will come and accept me for who i am. But relationship takes two to make and giving little more effort is what made it precious. So for me, it's good you choose to look closer.

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Interaction from you guys makes me happy :)